I first saw it on a bathroom stall in Seattle in 2008. A drawing resembling a heart, separated into two pieces, connected by a line. I started drawing it everywhere. It lined my journals, my sermon notes, anything that has room for a doodle.
Eventually I paid a friend to design it into a logo for my blog - then called A Secondary Heartbeat. Another friend sent me a necklace with the design on it as a gift. When I considered redesigning my blog, everyone I asked told me to keep the heart. I agreed.
Because it reflects my way of thinking, how we have two hearts. The one that represents our flesh and our nature. And the new one we receive in Christ.
I knew (and know) that the fight against my flesh required that secondary heart. That different beat, different rhythm. A different way of living. I couldn't live it out on my own. I had to give into that secondary heartbeat. I had to give in to Jesus.
No fear. All love. No hate. Constant compassion. No bitterness. Deep abiding joy.
And then my bestie asked if she could get me the tattoo I'd been asking for for ages. I said yes, because gifts are fun and wanting a tattoo for 7 years is enough to know you'll love it forever.
As of today, it's been a year of glancing down and remembering my first love. It's the easiest conversation starter - sometimes too easy because sometimes I don't feel like chatting with strangers about how I know a different way to live. But also? What a gift to have people ask me questions about my very favourite thing.