I’m in a new city —which is a statement I feel like I’m saying a lot these days— which is in a new province (Canada’s word for state) and things are different for me now.
So. Many. Things. Are. Different.
My home. My job. My school. My church. My friends.
Everything is different. I’m not sure if I was being naive or brave, but I was not very concerned about any of those things before I left home. I figured things would seamlessly work out, I would continue in the joy of the Lord that has often come easily for me, and all would be well.
The ease isn’t with me anymore.
My faith is really different. At home I had rhythms and routines.
Here. It’s different. All of my rhythms are broken, and it’s hard to make new ones because come the end of this month, I’ll be moving again, and it won’t be back home.
It’s different here.
And if I’m being honest, which is something I like to be, it’s hard.
I miss the Lord.
I miss the ease in which I knew Him at home. I miss having friends over for dinner and discussing theology and getting on our knees together to approach the Throne of God. I miss it. I miss standing in front of my church and playing the piano and praying the gospel over my sweet family.
The other day I woke up thinking about Romans 8. I thought about the list of things that can’t separate us from the love of God (death, life, angels, demons, rulers, present, future, heights, depths, powers, anything, etc, etc, etc!) and I whispered:
But maybe I can separate myself.
I have been getting so caught up in all of this different stuff that the enemy got into my head.
He got into my thoughts and started pouring in some lies about whether God would love me if I wasn’t loving Him the same way I used to, if God would accept me if I wasn’t showing up on my knees as often as I used to, if God would think my worship was deemed unworthy if it couldn’t be as free as it was just a month or so ago.
As the thought came into my head, the maybe I can one, the grace of God hit me like a wave.
I let out a sign of relief and started walking into freedom because God's love is enough. His love is enough.
Do you know what can separate us from the love of God? I do. Nothing. Nothing can separate us from the love of God!
Because! Here’s the thing: we love because Jesus first loved us.
It isn’t about how well we love. It really and truly and for sure isn’t. It isn’t about how well we show up. It isn’t about how we look or if we raise our arms when we’re in church or not.
It is about the fact that Jesus left the privilege of heaven and came to earth so that sinners everywhere would have the opportunity to one day leave the earth and enter heaven.
I’m done believing the lie, continuing on in the way of the enemy. Nothing, not even myself, can separate me from the love of God.
And friend, you can’t either. Praise be to our GOOD God because He loves us forever and ever.
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Romans 8:38-39 ESV)