God's grace isn't "just enough". He isn't making minimum payments on a credit card debt.
Did you catch that? Jesus paid it all. All of it.
It's huge. It's finished. And anything other than the full and complete grace of Jesus isn't the gospel.
God looks at the heart. He isn't bothered or impressed by skills and the obvious reasons to choose someone. He looks at the heart.
Our heart has to be following God and drawing near to Him. Even amidst having lots of things going on.
We tend to think that God will one day whack us. That he'll draw us close and then ruin us.
His nature is mercy.
Does God know all things? Of course he does. But he chooses not to remember our sins in terms of our judgement.
That blood has been shed. Jesus was the once and for all atonement.
Positionally, before God, forgiveness isn't a subscription we have to renew monthly.
When the Lord of lords offered you salvation, you got the life-time deal. And the fact that you keep thinking you need to work for forgiveness is kind of like looking at Christ on the cross and whispering "that's not enough".
It is enough. It is finished.
I don't have to add to the finished work of Christ. YOU don't have to add to the finished work of Christ. If you are in Christ, it is done! He has fully and completely saved you.
Is there something still on my record? The point is that your record isn't your record anymore. Jesus' righteousness is your record now.
Bear fruit in keeping with repentance. The fruit of repentance is asking forgiveness. And we do it freely because we're already forgiven.
There is no more debt to be paid. Jesus paid it all. Friend, believe that the work is done. You don't have to keep striving FOR salvation.
When you find yourself tired and dull, remind yourself of the story. Word by word, read it over. Receive the gospel. It'll give you endurance.