I love fresh and new things.
I'm invigorated in a new situation.
But also? I miss things. I miss good and comfortable places and spaces and things.
It's been a year but I still truly miss the floor of my old apartment. I miss lying on it and meeting God. I've certainly experienced God since but never in that way. I miss that space.
This week I led our community group because the leaders were out of town. I arrived early to pray over the space and their floor was similar to my old floor. And actually I felt more at home in that moment lying on the floor meeting with God than I had in ages.
I miss watching my niece every Wednesday. I'd make my coffee and then try to drink it and that would be hard because she's be all over me and totally in the way and kind of annoying and I miss that moment.
Monday morning I got up early to eat breakfast at my sister’s place. My niece was all up in my business and I adored every moment.
I miss the smaller venue my church once occupied. I adore where we are now, especially as a musician playing the big stage but I miss the small room that wasn't super big. I miss that space.
On Sunday I was on the worship team and I watched as people experienced God. I wouldn’t have traded that moment in that room for any other moment in any other room. God is at work. The size of the room is irrelevant.
I miss having a hand to hold. I haven’t had one to hold for a few years now and I have zero clue as to what the future holds. But I miss the comfort that comes from a boy holding my hand.
I don’t have a cute moment which makes that hurt feel better. But I do remember the words from the sermon on Sunday:
"Would you rather God plus nothing or everything without God?”
I pick the first. I chose to be content with whatever my lot.
Yet I miss so many things.
So don't let me talking about alley walks and bright and shiny things make you think that I'm not aware of hurt and pain.
Maybe my list of hurt and pain seems different than yours. That’s okay too. Cause we all get a different story and that is what makes life so beautiful.
I miss these spaces and I miss a future I do not even know if I will get. I'm grateful for change and for the things that I get to learn through transition but I also wish I could have learned lessons and not have had to deal with hard times.
Romans 5 says that suffering leads to hope.
Noticers hold out for hope.
Are you a Noticer? I hope so.
What is hindering you from hope? What would help you have hope again?