I want to be all by myself but I'm not okay being alone



Extroverted.
Introverted.
What about me?

I crave community, conversation, big laughter, tons of people, hosting, people together.

I crave quiet. Me. Nobody else. A document open ready to be filled. A city new ready to be explored. All by myself.

Akin to a four year old craving to be let alone, I want to do it all by myself.
Yet I really don't want to be alone.

I crave loud.
I crave still.

If I don't see friends, I feel utterly alone
If I don't have space, I feel completely exhausted.

Which do I feed into?
Which is correct?

This isn't a "woe is me post". I'm not sad about this situation. I'm simply trying to learn it, live it, and thrive in it.

I'm actually loving this learning curve. It stressed me out a little bit when I first started to explore the idea, and every one in a while I wonder why I'm not cookie cutter, but it's a fun balance to seek.

A friend also recently sent me some literature on my personality, which shed some fascinating light on myself. I read it, and felt like I saw myself. I read it to my sister, and she had a lot of "oh wow, yeah" moments, as she heard about me.

Sometimes getting older and figuring all this stuff out is and overwhelming.

Other times, like currently, it's kind of a fun game of guess who.

I loved what Anne Bogel shared this week on the topic, 5 reasons to know your personality

What about you? Do you fall definitely into one or the other? Do you defy the odds like me? What's your balance between the two?