because I'm not okay

I'm having one of those weeks (and if I'm honest, one of those months) when life is hard. I've been confronted with some sin issues in my life and I don't like them.

I don't like them so much that I'm not writing about them yet. I'm not ready.

You know that old adage, are you sorry because of what you did or because you got caught? Yeah, I'm sitting on the side of because I got caught and because of that, my words are a bit different today.

I've been working to maintain 5 posts per week, and to share my heart, and to share what God is doing. I've been adding fun little features and been trying to share what life looks like. I've been a faith blogger for ages, but I'm learning how to be a life blogger. (not lifestyle, that ain't me, just life).

But some days I don't have strength to share or good pictures or a fun thing that happened, so I want to share what's on my heart right now:

 it's okay with me if you're not okay

And I'm not even going to clarify what that means, because I mean it as however you're reading it.

Because I'm not okay.

I sometimes hate writing from a place of brokenness, even though that is pretty much always where I write from, because I get nervous that people will think that I'm depressed or not living with joy. Neither are true.

I'm alright but not okay, if that makes any sense. I'm filled to the brim with the joy of the Lord yet constantly aware of the life I'm walking in.

I'm still adjusting to the fact that I dropped out of college last semester and that it took over 3 months to find work.

I'm still adjusting to the fact that I'm still single. I feel like this is my eternal issue.

I'm working through things and I'm looking to Jesus constantly and trying to figure out how He is calling me to respond, but through it all, I'm okay and not okay, all at once.

My words are jumbled. I'm not quite eloquent right now.

But seriously. Hear me on this.

Jesus is good.
He is my strength right now (and always!).