And I Wonder?

God's been doing a little stirring in my heart lately.

I've mentioned it here a bit, and I've chatted with some friends about it a bit, but mostly I've just kind of sat before Him and asked:

Really? Really? Seriously? This is what You would have me do? You want me to blog more? To change the name, and layout and have features and silly things like that?

'Cause You know my deceitful heart and my desperate desire for praise and the pride issues that plague me every minute. You know them, and You hear my cries for forgiviness each day, and You forgive me each day and You are amazing.

But seriously - God. Are You sure

Then I sit back and I let Him speak.

The other day He reminded me that I (Nadine) am not God. He is God.

That was helpful. It was. I think I had forgotten or something.

. . .

But can I be honest for a second? Well, I'm always honest here (or mostly - as often as I can be).

Blogging freaks me out.

. . .

I was messaging someone last week about these struggles of anxiety I've been floating through and and I replied to some encouragement from them with a text that said

"sinful and useless" (speaking of myself)

to which they replied with truth that led me to Jesus.

"redeemed" and "fruitful"
That's your identity. Don't forget it.

So today, I'm going to attempt to rest in the knowledge that my identity is in Christ, that I am redeemed, and fruitful.

And though I'm still not sure why He's using me, and I wonder at why people read this thing - I'll rest assured that He knows.