I've been sitting in some gross lies lately. Listening to the lies more than the truth, sitting in some junk instead of resting at the feet of Jesus. I've been choosing to believe words I wouldn't let my friends believe.
This weekend I determined to walk back into truth again. On long car rides back and forth from a cabin a few hours away, I mostly just sang along with the worship music that played (and the pop songs because they're fun too). I sat on the dock and sang music late at night. I woke up early and watched boys wake board and I mostly just observed how creation was calling out praise to God.
I shared a part of my story with a friend, and heard others share their stories too. My heart felt refreshed and renewed and I remembered truth.
Then Monday came. I sat back into the lies, feeling unsure and not confident in any decisions and just yucky. It was all just yucky.
So a few hours into my day, I hid my head under my covers and met with Jesus. I had to be honest with the One who knows. I had to hide from everything that was in my brain and just rest in Him.
I listened to sermons and listened to worship music and let the Lord right my heart again.
And Tuesday I did the same. Slowed my pace and let Him speak.
Late last night I heard this song and it shall be an anthem for my heart. It's the first time in a long time that a song made me weep.
Let it be Jesus.
Should I ever be abandoned
Should I ever be acclaimed
Should I ever be surrounded by the fire and the flame
There's a name I will remember
There's a name I will proclaim
Let it be, Let it be Jesus